Baptist Worship, Ordinances, and Preaching — Unit 10: Weddings, Funerals, Dedications, and Ordination Services

Key Verse

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15, NKJV)

Learning Objectives

When you finish this unit, you should be able to:

1. Explain why Baptists do not treat weddings, funerals, dedications or ordination as ordinances or sacraments, and why they still hold them as sacred occasions.

2. Plan a Baptist wedding service, including premarital counseling and a church policy for difficult cases.

3. Lead a funeral that comforts the grieving, speaks honestly about death and hope, and respects the family's wider community.

4. Describe the dedication of a child and of a building and explain how a child dedication differs from baptism.

5. Describe how a Baptist church examines, ordains and charges a pastor or deacon, and state the main Baptist views on the ordination of women.

The Voice of This Unit

This unit is written from inside the Baptist tradition, for Baptist pastors. It is conservative and evangelical. A pastor who has preached well in his pulpit is also called to stand with his people at the high and low moments of their lives. Where Baptists differ among themselves, such as on remarriage after divorce or on the ordination of women, we state the views fairly. The deeper doctrine of the church and its offices is taught in Course 3, and the ordinances of baptism and the Supper were treated in Units 4 and 5. We do not repeat them here.

Sacred Occasions Without Sacraments

Baptists recognize two ordinances given by Christ to His church: believer's baptism and the Lord's Supper. We do not say that marriage, burial, dedication or ordination convey saving grace. A wedding does not make a person a Christian, a funeral does not change the destiny of the dead, and the laying on of hands does not pass spiritual power from one man to another. Scripture teaches that salvation is by grace through faith in Christ (Ephesians 2:8-9), and that we have one Mediator between God and men (1 Timothy 2:5).

This does not mean the services are unimportant. They are times when the church gathers before God, hears His Word, and prays for His people. They are also moments when unbelievers come into the building, often more open than usual to hear the gospel. Because the Bible does not give detailed orders for these services, Baptist churches have freedom to arrange them. They should do so simply, in line with the principles of Units 1 and 2: let the Word and prayer be central.

Weddings

The biblical view of marriage

Marriage was given by God at creation. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Jesus affirmed this and added, "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). The writer of Hebrews says, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). Paul teaches that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). The Baptist Faith and Message (2000) states that marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime.

Marriage is a creation ordinance, given to all people, not an ordinance of the church. So a Baptist pastor does not "make" the marriage by words he says. The couple make vows to one another before God, and the pastor leads the service, blesses the couple, and reminds them of what God says.

Civil law and the church

In many countries the state requires a civil registration of marriage. In Mexico, for example, the civil marriage is the legal act, and a religious ceremony has no legal effect by itself. A pastor must know the law where he serves. He should encourage couples to complete the civil requirements and should not conduct a ceremony that pretends to replace them. Check the local rules before you set a policy.

Premarital counseling

Meet the couple several times before the wedding. Ask whether both are believers. Paul warns, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14), and a pastor can gently explain the sorrow that follows when husband and wife are not united in Christ. Discuss the roles of husband and wife as Scripture teaches them, money, family, children, conflict, and sexual faithfulness. Encourage them to pray and read the Bible together.

A simple order of service

A Baptist wedding commonly includes a call to worship or opening prayer, a hymn or song, a short message from Scripture on marriage, the exchange of vows and rings, a prayer of blessing, and a charge to the couple. The pastor then introduces the couple to the congregation. Choose a text such as Ephesians 5, Genesis 2 or Colossians 3, and speak briefly about what makes a marriage last: Christ, covenant love, forgiveness and service.

Hard cases: a written policy

Every church should adopt a written wedding policy, approved by the congregation, so that the pastor is not left to decide each hard case alone. A policy should address at least the following.

Couples where one is not a believer. Many churches ask that both be believers, and some allow the pastor to counsel and then decline. Others may agree to marry them under certain conditions.

Remarriage after divorce. Baptists hold different views. Some teach that Scripture allows remarriage when a divorce was caused by adultery or by desertion by an unbelieving spouse (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15). Others take a stricter view and hold that remarriage is not permitted while the former spouse lives. Because this is a matter on which godly Baptists differ, the congregation should study the passages together and adopt a policy that its conscience can follow, and the pastor should apply it with compassion.

The church's statement on weddings. The policy should say plainly what the church does. This church performs weddings only for marriage as the lifelong union of one man and one woman, as the Baptist Faith and Message (2000) teaches. The church should write this in warm and gracious words, as a positive statement of what it believes about marriage and not as a list of those it turns away. Add a sincere welcome to every person to attend worship and to hear the gospel of Christ.

Funerals

The Christian hope

Death is real, and Christians do not treat it lightly. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35). Yet the Christian grieves with hope. Paul writes, "But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live" (John 11:25). Paul's great chapter on the resurrection of the body is 1 Corinthians 15. At the same time Scripture says, "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27). The funeral is therefore a place to be honest about death and clear about the gospel.

Baptist convictions that shape the funeral

We do not pray for the dead's salvation. Baptists do not teach purgatory or the offering of prayers or masses to help the souls of the dead. Scripture presents the decisive moment as this life, and the dead are in the Lord's hands. Our prayers are for the living: comfort, faith and repentance.

We do not pronounce on every person's eternal state. If the deceased was a believer, we may speak with joy of his faith. If we do not know, we should not say that he is certainly saved. The preacher can truthfully say that God is just and merciful, and then turn to the living with the gospel, saying that the time to turn to Christ is now. Do not give false assurance to comfort a family, and do not speak harshly of the dead.

Freedom in practice. Burial or cremation, the time of the service, and the style of music are matters of conscience and local custom. Christians have traditionally buried the dead as an expression of hope in the resurrection of the body. Let families decide with godly counsel.

A simple order of service

A funeral may begin with a Scripture reading and prayer, followed by a hymn, a brief tribute to the life of the deceased, a gospel message of comfort, a closing prayer, and a committal at the graveside. Keep the message simple: the sorrow is real, the hope in Christ is sure, and every hearer is invited to trust Him. Guide family members who wish to speak so that the service does not become long.

Pastoral care beyond the service

The funeral is only one day. Visit the family within a week, and again after several weeks, when the crowds have gone and the loneliness is greatest. Deacons trained in the Deacon Family Ministry Plan, mentioned in Course 3, can help carry this work. Where families follow the customs of a larger tradition, respect their dignity, but be firm and kind about what you cannot do in conscience.

Dedications

The dedication of a child

Baptists do not baptize infants because baptism is for those who have believed (taught in Course 2 and Unit 4). Many Baptist churches hold a service of child dedication or presentation instead. The Bible gives examples: Hannah brought her son Samuel to the Lord and said, "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD" (1 Samuel 1:27-28). Mary and Joseph presented Jesus at the temple (Luke 2:22). Jesus took little children in His arms and blessed them (Mark 10:13-16).

It must be said plainly that dedication does not save the child. It is not baptism, and it gives no grace of its own. It is a prayer of thanksgiving and a public commitment. Parents promise before God and the church to raise the child in the Lord, following Deuteronomy 6:6-7. The church promises to pray for the family and help them. The pastor prays a blessing over the child.

The dedication of a building

When a church completes a building, it may hold a service of dedication. Solomon's prayer at the dedication of the temple (1 Kings 8) is the great example, and Nehemiah led the people in a joyful dedication of the wall (Nehemiah 12:27). A Baptist congregation understands that a building is not a holy place in itself, because God does not live in temples made with hands (Acts 17:24). The church is the people. So the service gives thanks, sets the building apart for worship, and rededicates the people to God.

Ordination

The biblical pattern

The New Testament shows the church setting apart people for service with prayer and the laying on of hands. At Antioch, the prophets and teachers fasted and prayed, laid hands on Barnabas and Saul, and sent them off (Acts 13:1-3). The apostles prayed and laid hands on the seven chosen to serve (Acts 6:6). Paul reminded Timothy of the gift that was given to him "with the laying on of the hands of the eldership" (1 Timothy 4:14), and warned him, "Do not lay hands on anyone hastily" (1 Timothy 5:22). Titus was told to appoint elders in every city (Titus 1:5). The qualifications for pastors and deacons are in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.

Baptist practice

Baptists place ordination in the hands of the local church, in line with congregational government (Course 3). A typical order is as follows.

1. The church sees evidence of the person's calling, character and gifts and votes to proceed.

2. The candidate gives a written or spoken account of his conversion, his call, and his beliefs.

3. Many churches invite a council of pastors and leaders from neighboring churches to examine him. The council gives advice, but the church makes the decision, since each church governs itself.

4. If the church approves, it holds a service of ordination. It usually includes Scripture, a sermon, a charge to the candidate, a charge to the church, the laying on of hands with prayer, and a certificate.

The laying on of hands is a sign of recognition, blessing and commissioning. It does not carry apostolic succession and it does not give the minister a special rank in the kingdom. It tells the church and the world that this church recognizes God's call.

The same pattern may be used, with simpler forms, for deacons. Deacons are to be tested first (1 Timothy 3:10), so some time of service before ordination is wise.

Women and ordination

The Baptist Faith and Message (2000) teaches that the office of pastor is limited to men, and most conservative Baptist bodies follow this, understanding passages such as 1 Timothy 2:12 and 3:1-7 to teach that the office of pastor or elder is for qualified men. Some other Baptist bodies and churches hold that Scripture permits women to be ordained as pastors, pointing to women such as Priscilla, Phoebe and Junia in the New Testament and to the gifts the Spirit gives without regard to sex. This is a debated question. We state the majority view of conservative Baptists as the tradition's main stand, and we also recognize the other. All Baptists agree that women serve in many ways in the church, in teaching, missions, evangelism and care for the sick. Course 3 discusses the matter of deacons and deaconesses.

Pastoral Application

A faithful church member, Maria, has been praying for her husband for many years. He never believed. He dies suddenly. The funeral will be in a community where most neighbors expect a long series of rituals from the larger church tradition, and her husband's family ask the pastor to lead prayers for the repose of his soul.

The pastor visits the family before the service. He listens to them and offers his condolences, and tells them what he can do: read Scripture, pray for the grieving, and speak of the hope of the gospel. Kindly, he tells them that as a Baptist he cannot lead prayers for the dead, but that he will pray for them. At the service he speaks honestly. He says that death comes to everyone, that Christ has conquered it, and that each person present is invited to trust Him now. He does not say whether the husband was saved. He says that God is just and merciful and that the family's comfort is in His hands. Afterward, he visits Maria each week for a month.

Summary

Baptists recognize only two ordinances, so weddings, funerals, dedications and ordination are not sacraments. They are sacred occasions where the church gathers around the Word and prayer. Marriage is a creation ordinance for one man and one woman, and a church should have a written wedding policy and respect civil law. At funerals the pastor comforts with the hope of the resurrection, avoids false assurance, does not pray for the dead, and cares for the family afterward. Child dedication is not baptism and does not save; building dedication gives thanks and sets the place apart for worship. Ordination is done by the local church after examination, often with the advice of a council, and the laying on of hands is a sign of recognition and blessing. Most conservative Baptists reserve the pastoral office to men, while some Baptist bodies ordain women, and all affirm the wide service of women.

Further Reading

• The Baptist Faith and Message (2000), Articles VI, "The Church," and XVIII, "The Family."

• The Second London Confession (1689), chapters on marriage and on the church (public domain).

• J. M. Pendleton, Church Manual (1867, public domain), on ordination and church practice.

• Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students (public domain), on the pastor's care of people.

• Course 3 of this specialization, on pastors, deacons and church membership, and the CTS course on the Deacon Family Ministry Plan.

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