📖 Huduma za Kichungaji — Sehemu ya 8: Ushauri wa Kichungaji📖 Pastoral Ministries — Unit 8: Pastoral Counseling

MwelekeoOrientation

Mapema au baadaye, kila mchungaji atakuwa na kiti mbele ya meza yake. Mume na mke wataketi humo Jumanne alasiri na kutangaza kwamba hawawezi kuendelea tena. Kijana ataketi humo Alhamisi jioni na hatasema neno kwa dakika kumi za kwanza. Mwanamume ataketi humo baada ya ibada ya Jumapili na kuungama jambo ambalo amelibeba kwa miaka thelathini. Mjane ataketi humo miezi mitatu baada ya mazishi ya mumewe na kukiri kwamba hajui tena jinsi ya kuishi. Mchungaji asiyejiandaa kwa kiti hicho atachukua vyombo visivyofaa na kuleta madhara halisi. Mchungaji aliyejiandaa anaweza kufanya kazi ya maisha yote katika saa moja tu.Sooner or later, every pastor will have a chair across from his desk. A husband and wife will sit in it on a Tuesday afternoon and announce that they cannot keep going. A teenager will sit in it on a Thursday evening and say nothing for the first ten minutes. A man will sit in it after Sunday service and confess something he has carried for thirty years. A widow will sit in it three months after her husband's funeral and admit she does not know how to live anymore. The pastor who is unprepared for that chair will reach for the wrong tools and do real damage. The pastor who is prepared can do the work of a lifetime in a single hour.

Sehemu hii inachunguza ushauri wa kichungaji — ni nini na si nini, uti wa mgongo wa mbinu ambao nimeutumia kwa miaka mingi, kanuni ya uwajibikaji binafsi, nidhamu ya kusikiliza, mipaka ambayo kila mshauri lazima aitunze, na nyakati ambapo mchungaji lazima ampeleke mtu kwa mtu mwingine.This unit examines pastoral counseling — what it is, what it is not, the methodological backbone I have used for years, the principle of personal responsibility, the discipline of listening, the boundaries every counselor must keep, and the moments when the pastor must refer the person to someone else.

I. Kwa Nini Mchungaji HushauriI. Why the Pastor Counsels

Tafiti zimeonyesha mara kwa mara kwamba watu walio katika dhiki wanapotafuta msaada, mtu wa kwanza wanayempigia simu si mwanasaikolojia wala daktari wa magonjwa ya akili. Ni mchungaji. Watu huenda kwa mchungaji wao kwa sababu wanamwamini, kwa sababu anapatikana, kwa sababu anazungumza lugha ya imani yao, na kwa sababu wanaamini — na ni kweli — kwamba matatizo ya ndani kabisa ya moyo wa mwanadamu ni matatizo ya kiroho kabla ya kuwa kitu kingine chochote.Studies have repeatedly shown that when people in distress reach out for help, the first person they call is not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It is a pastor. People go to their pastor because they trust him, because he is available, because he speaks the language of their faith, and because they believe — rightly — that the deepest problems of the human heart are spiritual problems before they are anything else.

Mchungaji hajifanyi kuwa mtaalamu wa tiba. Anafanya kile ambacho wachungaji wamekuwa wakifanya siku zote. Anaketi pamoja na waliojeruhiwa na kuwaelekeza kwa Mponyaji Aliyejeruhiwa. Biblia yenyewe hutumia maneno kadhaa kwa kazi hii. Parakaleō maana yake ni "kuita kando" — shina lile lile ambalo kwalo tunapata jina Parakleto kwa ajili ya Roho Mtakatifu. Noutheteō maana yake ni "kuonya, kufundisha, au kutahadharisha" — kitenzi kilicho nyuma ya kusahihisha kwa kibiblia. Parakaleō pia maana yake ni "kutia moyo." Mchungaji mwaminifu hufanya yote matatu: kuja kando ya mtu, kuonya pale inapohitajika, na kutia moyo siku zote.The pastor is not pretending to be a clinician. He is doing what pastors have always done. He is sitting with the wounded and pointing them to the Wounded Healer. The Bible itself uses several words for this work. Parakaleō means "to call alongside" — the same root from which we get the title Paraclete for the Holy Spirit. Noutheteō means "to admonish, instruct, or warn" — the verb behind biblical correction. Parakaleō also means "to encourage." The faithful pastor is doing all three: coming alongside, admonishing where needed, and encouraging always.

Lakini ushauri wa kichungaji pia ni ujuzi maalum. Si huruma tu iliyoambatanishwa na mstari wa Biblia. Mchungaji anayeingia kwenye kiti cha ushauri bila mbinu, kufikia kikao chake cha tano, atakuwa akitoa mashauri yanayoleta madhara kuliko faida. Kuna njia bora zaidi.But pastoral counseling is also a specialized skill. It is not just sympathy with a Bible verse attached. The pastor who walks into the counseling chair without a method will, by his fifth session, be giving advice that does more harm than good. There is a better way.

II. Urithi wa Mowrer, Drakeford na GlasserII. The Mowrer-Drakeford-Glasser Heritage

Mbinu ambayo nimeitumia katika madarasa yangu ya ushauri kwa miaka mingi inatoka katika mapokeo yaliyo na mizizi kwa O. Hobart Mowrer, mtu wa katikati ya karne ya ishirini ambaye mfumo wake bado una ushawishi kihistoria ingawa ushauri na tiba ya akili vimeendelea sana tangu wakati wake na baadhi ya istilahi zake sasa zinasikika kuwa za zamani. Mowrer alikuwa mwanasaikolojia aliyefundisha katika Chuo Kikuu cha Illinois katikati ya karne ya ishirini, naye aliachana na dhana ya Freud kwamba maradhi ya nafsi ya mwanadamu kwa sehemu kubwa ni matokeo ya kukandamiza hisia na tamaa zisizotimizwa. Mowrer alidai kinyume chake. Alisema kwamba sehemu kubwa ya kile tunachokiita ugonjwa wa akili, katika kiini chake, ni tatizo la makosa yasiyoungamwa na uwajibikaji uliokataliwa. Mfumo wa Mowrer ulikuja kuitwa Tiba ya Uadilifu (Integrity Therapy). Ulikuwa ni kurudi kwenye unyoofu, kuungama, na uwajibikaji binafsi.The methodology I have used in my own counseling classes for many years comes from a tradition rooted in O. Hobart Mowrer, a mid-twentieth-century figure whose framework remains historically influential even though counseling and psychiatry have developed considerably since his time and some of his terminology now reads as dated. Mowrer was a psychologist who taught at the University of Illinois in the middle of the twentieth century, and he broke with the Freudian assumption that human pathology is mostly the product of repression and unmet drives. Mowrer argued the opposite. He said most of what we call mental illness is, at its core, a problem of unconfessed wrongdoing and refused responsibility. Mowrer's framework came to be called Integrity Therapy. It was a return to honesty, confession, and personal accountability.

Wanafunzi wawili wa Mowrer waliuendeleza mfumo huo kwa mielekeo tofauti. John Drakeford, aliyefundisha kwa miaka mingi katika Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, alichukua kanuni za Mowrer na kujenga matumizi yake ya Kikristo kikamilifu. Kitabu cha Drakeford Wise Counsel (Shauri la Hekima) na Mbinu yake ya Hatua 10 vikawa uti wa mgongo wa mafundisho yake. William Glasser, akifanya kazi katika uwanja wa kidunia, alichukua kanuni zile zile na kuendeleza kile alichokiita Tiba ya Uhalisia (Reality Therapy). Glasser alisisitiza kwamba mwanadamu ana mahitaji mawili ya msingi — upendo na hisia ya kujithamini — na kwamba kazi ya mshauri ni kumsaidia mtu kuwajibika kutimiza mahitaji hayo kwa kufanya maamuzi sahihi sasa, si kwa kulaumu yaliyopita.Two students of Mowrer carried the framework forward in different directions. John Drakeford, who taught for many years at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, took Mowrer's principles and built a thoroughly Christian application of them. Drakeford's book Wise Counsel and his 10-Step Method became the spine of his teaching. William Glasser, working in the secular field, took the same principles and developed what he called Reality Therapy. Glasser stressed that man has two basic needs — love and a sense of self-worth — and that the counselor's job is to help the person take responsibility for meeting those needs through right choices in the present, not through blaming the past.

Mowrer alimfunza Drakeford. Drakeford alinifunza mimi. Mnyororo wa uwajibikaji binafsi kutoka kwa mwalimu hadi kwa mwanafunzi ni halisi, nao huzaa mbinu ya ushauri inayofanya kazi kweli. Watu wote watatu — Mowrer, Drakeford, Glasser — walikubaliana juu ya kanuni moja ambayo ulimwengu wa tiba wa kisasa ulikuwa umeiacha kwa sehemu kubwa: mtu pekee unayeweza kumbadilisha kwa kweli ni wewe mwenyewe. Mpaka anayeshauriwa akubali jambo hilo, hakuna maendeleo yanayowezekana.Mowrer trained Drakeford. Drakeford trained me. The chain of personal responsibility from teacher to student is real, and it produces a counseling method that actually works. All three men — Mowrer, Drakeford, Glasser — agreed on a single principle that the modern therapeutic world had largely abandoned: the only person you can actually change is yourself. Until the counselee owns that, no progress is possible.

III. Mbinu ya Hatua 10 ya DrakefordIII. The Drakeford 10-Step Method

Drakeford alifundisha kwamba ushauri wa walei wenye matokeo mara nyingi unaweza kufanyika katika takriban dakika kumi na tano. Sentensi hiyo itawashangaza watu wanaodhani kwamba ushauri maana yake ni miezi ya vikao vya saa nzima kila wiki. Si kwamba Drakeford hakupenda kina. Ni kwamba aliuelewa muundo wa mazungumzo ya kusaidia. Muundo ukishawekwa, muda unaohitajika ni mdogo sana kuliko watu wanavyodhani.Drakeford taught that effective lay counseling could often be done in about fifteen minutes. That sentence will surprise people who assume counseling means months of weekly hour-long appointments. It is not that Drakeford disliked depth. It is that he understood the structure of a helping conversation. Once the structure is in place, the time required is far less than people think.

Nguvu ya mbinu hii ni kwamba kila hatua ina swali linaloambatana nayo. Mchungaji halazimiki kubuni hatua inayofuata. Anaenda tu kwenye hatua inayofuata na kuuliza swali linalohusika nayo. Hizi hapa hatua kumi kwa mpangilio ambao Drakeford alizifundisha, pamoja na swali linalofungua kila moja.The strength of the method is that every step has a question that goes with it. The pastor does not have to invent the next move. He simply moves to the next step and asks the question that belongs to it. Here are the ten steps in the order Drakeford taught them, with the question that opens each one.

Ubora wa muundo huu ni mgeuko katika hatua ya tano. Washauri wengi hukaa muda mrefu mno katika hatua ya kwanza hadi ya nne — wakifafanua bila mwisho, wakichunguza hisia bila mwisho, wakichimba yaliyopita bila mwisho. Drakeford alisema: wakati fulani lazima ugeuke kona. Lazima utoke kwenye "Ni nini kilichokupata?" kwenda kwenye "Ni wapi ulipokosea, na utafanya nini?" Mgeuko huo ndipo msaada unapoanza. Na mchungaji akishajifunza umbo la hatua kumi, mara nyingi hugundua — sawasawa na alivyoahidi Drakeford — kwamba dakika kumi na tano zinatosha.The genius of the structure is the turn at step five. Most counselors stay too long in steps one through four — endlessly clarifying, endlessly exploring feelings, endlessly digging into the past. Drakeford said: at some point you must turn the corner. You must move from "What happened to you?" to "Where have you failed, and what are you going to do?" That turn is where help begins. And once a pastor learns the shape of the ten steps, he often finds — exactly as Drakeford promised — that fifteen minutes is enough.

Neno kuhusu ushauri wa walei. Drakeford alikuwa na shauku kubwa kwamba ushauri si mali ya wataalamu peke yao. Alitoa sababu tatu kwa nini kila kanisa la Kikristo linapaswa kuwafunza walei katika ujuzi wa kusaidia. Washauri wa kitaalamu hawawezi kukidhi mahitaji yote. Hawatoshi tu, na watu wengi walio katika dhiki hawataketi kamwe katika ofisi ya mshauri. Walei wanaweza kuwa washauri wenye matokeo. Tafiti zimeonyesha mara kwa mara kwamba walei waliofunzwa, wakiwa na unyoofu, usikivu, na kujali, hushauri kwa matokeo sawa na wataalamu wengi. Wakristo wana wajibu wa kuwahudumia wengine — Wagalatia 6:2, "Mchukuliane mizigo, na kuitimiza hivyo sheria ya Kristo." Mbinu ya Hatua 10 si kwa ajili ya mchungaji katika chumba chake cha kujisomea tu. Ni chombo kinachoweza kufundishwa kwa mashemasi, walimu wa shule ya Jumapili, viongozi wa mafunzo ya Biblia, na waumini wakomavu katika kusanyiko. Mchungaji anayewafundisha watu wake kushauriana huzidisha huduma ya kusaidia ya kanisa lake mara nyingi.A note on lay counseling. Drakeford was passionate that counseling does not belong only to professionals. He gave three reasons every Christian church should train laypeople in the helping skills. Professional counselors cannot meet all the needs. There simply are not enough of them, and most people in distress will never sit in a counselor's office. Lay people can be effective counselors. Studies have repeatedly shown that trained laypeople, with honesty, sensitivity, and concern, counsel as effectively as many professionals. Christians have a responsibility to minister to others — Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." The 10-Step Method is not just for the pastor in his study. It is a tool that can be taught to deacons, Sunday school teachers, Bible study leaders, and mature believers in the congregation. The pastor who teaches his people to counsel one another multiplies the helping ministry of his church many times over.

IV. Kanuni ya 80/20IV. The 80/20 Principle

Drakeford alikuwa na mbinu maalum kwa hali ambayo kila mchungaji hukutana nayo — mwanamume au mwanamke anayekuja kuzungumza kuhusu mtu mwingine. Mume huketi kitini na kupanga kwa uangalifu mashtaka dhidi ya mkewe. Mchungaji anasikiliza. Anasikia orodha ndefu ya malalamiko. Anasikia jinsi mke alivyokuwa asiyekubali hoja, asiye wa haki, baridi, na asiyewezekana kuishi naye.Drakeford had a particular technique for the situation every pastor faces — the man or woman who comes to talk about somebody else. A husband sits in the chair and lays out a careful case against his wife. The pastor listens. He hears the long list of grievances. He hears how unreasonable she has been, how unfair, how cold, how impossible to live with.

Drakeford alitufundisha kuushughulikia wakati huu kwa uangalifu. Angesema kitu kama, "Basi, mke wako hayupo hapa. Hatuwezi kuzungumza naye. Kwa hiyo hakuna faida ya kuendelea zaidi katika njia hiyo." Kisha angetoa kanuni ambayo imekuwa mojawapo ya vyombo vyenye manufaa zaidi ninavyovijua katika ushauri wa kichungaji. "Katika mahusiano mengi, si mtu mmoja tu au yule mwingine. Ni wote wawili. Tuseme mke wako ana kosa kwa asilimia themanini na wewe asilimia ishirini. Je, ungeweza kukubaliana na hilo?"Drakeford taught us to handle this moment carefully. He would say something like, "Well, your wife is not here. We can't talk to her. So there is no point in going further down that road." Then he would offer the principle that has become one of the most useful tools I know in pastoral counseling. "In most relationships, it isn't just one person or the other. It's both. Let's say your wife is eighty percent at fault and you are twenty percent. Would you be able to agree with that?"

Mwanamume karibu kila mara husema ndiyo. Ameambiwa kwamba ana kosa kwa asilimia ishirini, jambo ambalo ni faraja, kwa sababu alikuwa na uhakika kwamba analaumiwa kwa jambo zima. Pia amekubali bila kutamka kwamba ana uwajibikaji fulani. Huo ndio mlango.The man almost always says yes. He has been told he is twenty percent at fault, which is a relief, because he was sure he was being blamed for the whole thing. He has also implicitly agreed that he has some responsibility. That is the door.

Sentensi iliyofuata ya Drakeford ingekuwa: "Vizuri sana. Basi tuzungumze kuhusu hiyo asilimia ishirini."Drakeford's next sentence would be: "Well, great. Let's talk about that twenty percent."

Ubora wa mbinu hii ni kwamba inaheshimu malalamiko ya mwanamume bila kuungana naye katika kumshambulia mke ambaye hayupo, na inaelekeza mazungumzo kwenye eneo pekee ambapo mabadiliko halisi yanawezekana — uwajibikaji wake mwenyewe. Mchungaji hawezi kumrekebisha mke. Mke hayumo chumbani. Mchungaji anaweza kumsaidia mume kuona asilimia ishirini yake, kuikubali, kuitubu pale inapofaa, na kuchukua hatua juu yake. Na hili hapa ni jambo la kushangaza kuhusu ndoa: mwenzi mmoja anapobadilisha kweli asilimia ishirini yake, mwenendo kati yao hubadilika kwa njia ambazo mara nyingi hulainisha ile asilimia themanini nyingine bila kuishughulikia moja kwa moja.The brilliance of this technique is that it honors the man's grievance without joining him in attacking the absent spouse, and it redirects the conversation to the only territory where actual change is possible — his own responsibility. The pastor cannot fix the wife. The wife is not in the room. The pastor can help the husband see his own twenty percent, own it, repent of it where appropriate, and act on it. And here is the surprising thing about marriages: when one spouse genuinely changes their twenty percent, the dynamic between them shifts in ways that often soften the other eighty percent without it ever being directly addressed.

Kanuni hii inakwenda mbali zaidi ya ushauri wa ndoa. Inamhusu mwanamume anayelalamika kuhusu bosi wake, mwanamke anayelalamika kuhusu dada yake, mzazi anayelalamika kuhusu mtoto aliye mtu mzima. Mchungaji mwaminifu hataketi kitini mwake na kuwa chombo cha kumhukumu mtu ambaye hayupo. Kwa upole na kwa ustadi, ataelekeza mazungumzo kwenye uwajibikaji wa mtu aliyepo kwa kweli.This principle goes far beyond marriage counseling. It applies to the man complaining about his boss, the woman complaining about her sister, the parent complaining about an adult child. The faithful pastor will not sit in his chair and become the instrument of an absent person's condemnation. He will, gently and skillfully, turn the conversation toward the responsibility of the person actually present.

V. Kusikiliza VizuriV. Listening Well

Yote haya yanategemea kusikiliza. Drakeford alifundisha kile alichokiita kusikiliza kwa ukamilifu (holistic listening) — kusikiliza kwa macho, masikio, kichwa, na mikono. Macho hutazama lugha ya mwili. Masikio husikia maneno na ukimya. Kichwa huchakata maana iliyo nyuma ya maneno. Mikono huandika maelezo mara kwa mara na hubaki wazi na tulivu badala ya kuhangaika au kunyoosha kidole.All of this depends on listening. Drakeford taught what he called holistic listening — listening with eyes, ears, head, and hands. The eyes watch the body language. The ears hear the words and the silences. The head processes meaning behind words. The hands take occasional notes and stay open and still rather than fidgeting or pointing.

Mchungaji mwaminifu hujifunza kuuliza maswali ya wazi, si maswali ya ndiyo-au-hapana. "Hilo lilikufanya ujisikie vipi?" hufungua mlango. "Je, umekasirika?" huufunga, kwa sababu mtu anaweza kujibu ndiyo au hapana na kuacha kuzungumza. Mchungaji hujifunza kutumia ukimya. Washauri wengi huogopa ukimya na huharakisha kuujaza. Drakeford alisema kwa kawaida ukimya ndipo kazi halisi inapofanyika. Anayeshauriwa anafikiri. Mwache afikiri.The faithful pastor learns to ask open-ended questions, not yes-or-no questions. "How did that make you feel?" opens a door. "Are you angry?" closes it, because the person can answer yes or no and stop talking. The pastor learns to use silence. Most counselors fear silence and rush to fill it. Drakeford said the silence is usually where the real work is being done. The counselee is thinking. Let them think.

Mchungaji pia hujifunza kusikiliza kile kisichosemwa. Tatizo la kwanza ambalo anayeshauriwa analitaja mara nyingi si lile halisi. Tatizo la kwanza ni tatizo salama — lile ambalo yuko tayari kuanza nalo. Tatizo halisi kwa kawaida linasubiri mahali fulani nyuma yake. Kusikiliza kwa subira na kwa maombi huliruhusu tatizo halisi kujitokeza kwa wakati wake.The pastor also learns to listen for what is not said. The first problem the counselee names is often not the real one. The first problem is the safe problem — the one they are willing to lead with. The real problem is usually waiting somewhere behind it. Patient, prayerful listening lets the real problem surface in its own time.

Kuna dhana potofu kwamba kusikiliza vizuri ni uwezo wa asili wa watu wenye akili. Sivyo. Kusikiliza ni ujuzi unaopaswa kuzoezwa, nao unaweza kuboreshwa. Kusoma hakukuzi usikivu. Mazungumzo ya kila siku hayakuzi usikivu. Mazoezi ya makusudi — pamoja na unyenyekevu kuhusu jinsi tulivyokosea mara nyingi kuhusu kile tulichodhani tumekisikia — ndiyo yanayokuza usikivu.There is a fallacy that good listening is the natural ability of intelligent people. It is not. Listening is a skill that must be practiced, and it can be improved. Reading does not develop listening. Everyday conversation does not develop listening. Deliberate practice — and a humility about how often we have been wrong about what we thought we heard — is what develops listening.

VI. MipakaVI. Boundaries

Ushauri wa kichungaji husimama au huanguka kwa sababu ya mipaka. Mchungaji asiye na mipaka yuko umbali wa alasiri moja mbaya tu kutoka kwa kashfa au kuchoka kabisa.Pastoral counseling lives or dies on boundaries. The pastor who has no boundaries is one bad afternoon away from a scandal or a burnout.

Kuna mpaka wa mahali. Vikao vya ushauri vinafaa kufanyika katika ofisi ya mchungaji kanisani, mlango ukiwa umefungwa lakini ukiwa na dirisha, au katika mgahawa wa umma pale inapofaa. Havifai kufanyika majumbani, katika vyumba vya faragha visivyo na kioo, ndani ya magari, au katika simu za usiku wa manane pale inapowezekana kuziepuka. Kuna mpaka wa muda. Kikao cha ushauri kina mwanzo na mwisho, kwa kawaida takriban saa moja. Mchungaji anayeruhusu vikao viendelee bila kikomo huwafundisha wanaoshauriwa kutarajia kumfikia bila kikomo na hujifundisha mwenyewe kuelekea uchovu mkubwa. Kuna mpaka wa usiri. Kinachosemwa chumbani hubaki chumbani, isipokuwa katika hali chache sana ambazo Maandiko na sheria vinadai — yaani, pale kuna hatari kwa uhai, unyanyasaji wa mtoto, au uhalifu dhidi ya mtu mwingine. Kuna mpaka wa mapenzi (hisia za upendo). Uhamishaji wa hisia (transference) ni halisi. Mwanamke aliyeumizwa anayekuja kwa ushauri wakati mwingine ataanza kuelekeza kwa mchungaji hisia ambazo ni za mume wake asiyekuwepo au baba yake asiyekuwepo. Mchungaji mwenye hekima huliona hili likija na humlinda mwanamke huyo, mke wake, na yeye mwenyewe kwa kuwa na mtu mzima mwingine — mwenzi, shemasi, katibu aliye karibu — na kwa kutomshauri mwanamke peke yake kwa namna ambayo angemshauri mwanamume.There is the boundary of place. Counseling sessions belong in the pastor's office at the church, with the door closed but a window in it, or in a public restaurant where appropriate. They do not belong in homes, in private rooms with no glass, in cars, or in late-night phone calls when it can be avoided. There is the boundary of time. A counseling session has a beginning and an end, usually about an hour. The pastor who lets sessions run open-ended trains his counselees to expect unlimited access and trains himself toward exhaustion. There is the boundary of confidentiality. What is said in the room stays in the room, with the very few exceptions Scripture and law require — namely, where there is danger to life, abuse of a child, or a crime against another. There is the boundary of affection. Transference is real. The hurting woman who comes for counseling will sometimes begin to attach feelings to the pastor that belong to her absent husband or her absent father. The wise pastor sees this coming and protects her, his wife, and himself by having another adult present — a spouse, a deacon, a secretary nearby — and by not counseling a woman alone in the way he would counsel a man.

Mipaka hii si ya kukosa urafiki. Ni ya kulinda. Inamlinda anayeshauriwa, ambaye yuko katika hali ya udhaifu na anastahili mshauri asiyetumia udhaifu huo vibaya. Inamlinda mchungaji, ambaye naye ni mwenye dhambi na hayuko juu ya uwezekano wa kuanguka. Inalinda ndoa ya mchungaji, ndoa ya anayeshauriwa, na ushuhuda wa kanisa.These boundaries are not unfriendly. They are protective. They protect the counselee, who is in a vulnerable state and deserves a counselor who will not exploit it. They protect the pastor, who is also a sinner and is not above falling. They protect the marriage of the pastor, the marriage of the counselee, and the witness of the church.

VII. Wakati wa Kumpeleka Mtu kwa MtaalamuVII. When to Refer

Ushauri wa kichungaji una mipaka. Si kila tatizo ni lile ambalo mchungaji ana sifa za kulishughulikia. Kuna vipindi vya mfadhaiko mkubwa wa kitabibu (clinical depression), majeraha makali ya kisaikolojia, uraibu, mawazo ya kujiua, skizofrenia, na hali nyingine ambapo kazi ya mchungaji ni kuitambua hali hiyo na kumpeleka mtu huyo kwa daktari wa magonjwa ya akili Mkristo, mwanasaikolojia, au mshauri mwenye leseni. Mchungaji anayejaribu kushughulikia kila kitu yeye mwenyewe huleta madhara. Mchungaji anayejua mipaka yake na ana orodha ya wataalamu tayari huufanyia ufalme wa Mungu mema makubwa.Pastoral counseling has limits. Not every problem is one the pastor is qualified to handle. There are seasons of clinical depression, severe trauma, addiction, suicidal ideation, schizophrenia, and other conditions where the pastor's job is to recognize the situation and refer the person to a Christian psychiatrist, psychologist, or licensed counselor. The pastor who tries to handle everything himself does damage. The pastor who knows his limits and has a referral list ready does the kingdom of God enormous good.

Kanuni ni rahisi: ushauri wa kichungaji ni kwa ajili ya vipengele vya kiroho na vya kimahusiano vya mapambano ya mwanadamu. Mapambano yanapokuwa na kipengele cha kitabibu kinachohitaji uchunguzi wa ugonjwa, dawa, au tiba maalum, mchungaji hubaki katika picha kama mshauri wa kiroho na mchungaji, lakini huwakabidhi kazi ya kitabibu wale walio na ujuzi wa kuifanya. Majukumu hayo mawili hufanya kazi pamoja. Mengi ya maponyaji yenye matokeo makubwa zaidi niliyowahi kuyaona yalihusisha mchungaji mwaminifu na mtaalamu wa tiba Mkristo mwaminifu wakifanya kazi sambamba kwa mtu yule yule.The principle is simple: pastoral counseling is for the spiritual and relational dimensions of human struggle. When the struggle has a clinical dimension that requires diagnosis, medication, or specialized therapy, the pastor stays in the picture as a spiritual counselor and pastor, but he hands the clinical work to those equipped to do it. The two roles work together. Many of the most effective recoveries I have seen involved a faithful pastor and a faithful Christian therapist working in parallel on the same person.

VIII. Nafsi ya Mchungaji Mwenyewe KitiniVIII. The Pastor's Own Soul in the Chair

Mchungaji hawezi kutoa kile asichokuwa nacho. Mchungaji ambaye nafsi yake imekauka atashauri kutokana na ukavu. Mchungaji ambaye ndoa yake mwenyewe haitunzwi atatoa ushauri mbaya wa ndoa. Mchungaji ambaye dhambi zake mwenyewe hazijaungamwa hataweza kumwita anayeshauriwa kuungama.A pastor cannot give what he does not have. The pastor whose own soul is dry will counsel out of dryness. The pastor whose own marriage is unattended will give bad marriage counsel. The pastor whose own sins are unconfessed will be unable to call the counselee to confession.

Mowrer alikuwa sahihi kuhusu jambo hili angalau, hata nje ya mfumo wa Kikristo: uadilifu ndio msingi wa mabadiliko yote halisi. Mchungaji Mkristo huenda ndani zaidi. Anajua kwamba uadilifu hububujika kutoka kwa moyo uliotakaswa kwa damu ya Kristo, unaotegemezwa na Neno la Mungu, na kufanywa upya na Roho Mtakatifu. Mchungaji anayedumisha mwendo wake wa kila siku na Bwana — kuungama, Maandiko, maombi, ibada, msaada wa wachungaji na marafiki zake mwenyewe — huja kwenye kiti cha ushauri akibeba kitu ambacho mtaalamu wa tiba aliyefunzwa tu hawezi kukibeba. Anambeba Kristo. Na Kristo ndiye ambaye waliojeruhiwa wanamhitaji hatimaye.Mowrer was right about this much, even outside the Christian framework: integrity is the foundation of all real change. The Christian pastor goes deeper. He knows that integrity flows from a heart cleansed by the blood of Christ, sustained by the Word of God, and renewed by the Holy Spirit. The pastor who maintains his own daily walk with the Lord — confession, Scripture, prayer, worship, the support of his own pastors and friends — comes into the counseling chair carrying something the merely-trained therapist cannot carry. He carries Christ. And Christ is what the wounded ultimately need.

HitimishoClosing

Kiti cha mchungaji ni mojawapo ya mahali patakatifu zaidi katika jengo la kanisa. Watu watakueleza, wakiwa wameketi kitini humo, mambo ambayo hawatamweleza mtu mwingine yeyote duniani. Watalia. Wataungama. Wataomba msaada kwa kusihi. Watakutazama kwa macho yanayosema, Je, kuna tumaini lolote? Mchungaji mwaminifu, aliyeandaliwa kwa mafunzo na kutegemezwa na mwendo wake mwenyewe na Kristo, atalijibu swali hilo kwa njia tatu. Ataketi na kusikiliza. Kwa upole ataelekeza mazungumzo kwenye eneo pekee ambapo mabadiliko yanawezekana — moyo na maamuzi ya anayeshauriwa mwenyewe. Naye atawaelekeza, kila mara, kwa Kristo aliye Mshauri mkuu, Tabibu mkuu, na Mpenzi mkuu wa nafsi za wanadamu.The pastor's chair is one of the holiest places in the church building. People will tell you, sitting in that chair, things they will tell no one else on earth. They will weep. They will confess. They will plead for help. They will look at you with eyes that say, Is there any hope? The faithful pastor, prepared by training and sustained by his own walk with Christ, will answer that question in three ways. He will sit and listen. He will gently turn the conversation toward the only territory where change is possible — the counselee's own heart and choices. And he will point them, every time, to the Christ who is the great Counselor, the great Physician, and the great Lover of human souls.

"atufarijiye katika dhiki zetu zote, ili tuweze kuwafariji wale walio katika dhiki za kila namna, kwa faraja hiyo tufarijiwayo sisi na Mungu" (2 Wakorintho 1:4). Kila mchungaji anayesoma maneno haya na awe, kwa neema ya Kristo, mshauri wa namna ambayo kiti chake kinakuwa kituo cha uponyaji kwa waliojeruhiwa katika jamii yake."Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1:4). May every pastor reading this become, by the grace of Christ, the kind of counselor whose chair becomes a healing station for the wounded of his community.

— Dkt. Wayne Cook
Seminari ya Teolojia ya Chapala— Dr. Wayne Cook
Chapala Theological Seminary

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