Congregational Church Government and Baptist Polity — Unit 9: The Deacon Office III: Crisis Ministry, the Deacons' Meeting, Keeping the Plan Alive, and Women's Service

Key Verse

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2, NKJV)

Learning Objectives

When you finish this unit, you should be able to:

1. Describe how a deacon ministers in sickness, death and other crises, and how he combines presence, practical help and prayer.

2. Explain the limits of confidentiality and the wisdom of referral.

3. Describe the purpose, conduct and reporting of the deacons' meeting, and the deacon's partnership with his pastor.

4. Name the challenges that cause a plan of deacon ministry to fade, and the steps that keep it alive.

5. State the main Baptist views on 1 Timothy 3:11 and the service of women, including Howell's view, and explain why the Baptist churches differ.

Where We Are in the Course

Unit 8 described how a church organizes deacon ministry among its families. This unit covers the hard hours when families need the deacon most, the meeting that holds the deacons together, and the question of how to keep such work alive for years. Last, following chapter 7 of Howell's The Deaconship (1846), we consider women's service and the deaconess question. The first parts condense Units 8 to 10 of Dr. Wayne Cook's CTS course "Deacon Family Ministry Plan," the recommended companion to this unit.

The Deacon in Crisis

Sooner or later every family meets a crisis: illness, death, lost work, quarrel, a collapse of faith. In a crisis care is a lifeline, and people remember who came. A few principles guide the deacon.

He comes, and he comes quickly. Trouble rarely sends an invitation. The first and greatest thing is to be there.

He brings calm and he brings Christ. He passes on the comfort he has himself received: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

He brings practical help. A stricken family is often paralyzed. The deacon who makes the calls, arranges meals and drives to the hospital frees the family to grieve.

He does not carry it alone. He calls on the other deacons and the church.

He resists explaining. In a crisis the deacon is tempted to answer the unanswerable "why" or to rush the family toward feeling better. The grieving need a brother who will sit with them, weep with them and trust God for them. Often the wisest thing is to say little and the kindest is to stay.

Sickness and death

In sickness the deacon goes to the hospital or the sickbed, brings comfort, prays and reads a portion of Scripture. When the illness is grave he calls the pastor, for the church's ministry to the sick belongs first to the elders, who are to pray over the sick (James 5:14). In death he weeps with those who weep (Romans 12:15), helps with the many practical needs of the first days, and stands with the family through the funeral. The most important part comes afterward. Grief does not end at the graveside, and neither does the deacon's care. A call on the anniversary of a death says the loss is not forgotten.

Other troubles

In hardship such as a lost job, the deacon's calling in Acts 6 shines. He helps with dignity and wisdom, as in Unit 7. In family conflict he listens and prays and refers when needed. In spiritual crisis, when a believer is overtaken in sin or a faith is shaken, he comes "in a spirit of gentleness" to restore (Galatians 6:1), pointing the struggler back to Christ.

The Sacred Trust of Confidentiality

Crisis ministry takes the deacon into the private places of life. People tell him things they would tell no one else, and they do so because they trust him. "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter" (Proverbs 11:13). Gossip often disguises itself as a prayer request. The faithful deacon prays for his families without broadcasting their troubles.

Yet confidentiality has limits. It is never a shield for danger or crime. When someone speaks of taking his own life or threatens another, the deacon must act at once and bring in the pastor and those able to help. When a child or another vulnerable person is being harmed, he must not stay silent to protect the one doing harm. Howell's CTS edition makes the same point: confidentiality must never be used to conceal abuse, criminal conduct or matters that must be reported under the law. The deacon should know what the laws of his country require and should speak with the pastor about how to meet them. To keep silent in such a case is not faithfulness but complicity. Even then, he tells only what is needed, and only to those who need to know.

The Wisdom of Referral

A good deacon knows his limits. He is a caring layman, not a physician, a professional counselor, a lawyer, or the pastor. "In the multitude of counselors there is safety" (Proverbs 11:14). He refers to the pastor for serious spiritual crises, hard doctrinal questions and the elders' ministry to the sick. He refers to others who are fit to help: a doctor, a trained counselor, a lawyer, or the proper authorities. Referral is never abandonment, however. He stays alongside the family, still caring, still praying, still present. A wise referral is not caring less but caring more.

The Deacons' Meeting

The deacons meet as a body, and the meeting is the heartbeat of the work. It is not chiefly a business session, and the deacons are not a board of directors. It is a report on souls. In a good meeting each man says, "The family of this member buried their father this week," or "This young man has stopped coming," and at each name the men stop and pray.

The meeting should bear the marks of a spiritual gathering:

• It is bathed in prayer, with the men praying for their families, their pastor and their church by name.

• Its true agenda is the families, with business handled in its place and never crowding out care.

• It is a place of mutual encouragement and loving accountability.

• It is regular and not occasional, since a body that meets only in a crisis is always behind the need.

• It respects confidentiality. What is said there is for care and prayer, never for gossip, and the deepest confidences are guarded even among the brethren.

Reporting

At the center of the meeting each deacon reports on his families: who is sick, grieving, absent, in need or rejoicing. This is the safeguard of the promise that no family is forgotten. He reports what is needed for care and prayer ("Mrs. Allen is in the hospital; let us pray and send help"), not the private confidences trusted to him alone. There is a world of difference between sharing a need and betraying a secret. Honest reporting also means a deacon admits when he has fallen behind: "I have not reached this family this month; I need help." The meeting is not a place to look good but to make sure no one is missed. Reporting also keeps the pastor informed.

The Deacon and the Pastor

The deacon-pastor relationship is the keystone. It is the partnership of Acts 6: the seven took up practical care so that the apostles could give themselves to prayer and the word. The deacon is the pastor's helper, never his rival and never his boss. As Unit 7 showed, the pastor honors deacons as partners, and both are accountable to Christ and the church.

The biblical picture is Exodus 17:12. When Moses' hands grew heavy, Aaron and Hur supported them, one on each side, and "his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." Deacons hold up their pastor's hands in four ways: by encouragement, by sharing his burdens, by defending him against unjust criticism and refusing to carry tales, and by guarding the unity of the church (Ephesians 4:3).

This does not mean the deacon may never disagree. Honest counsel is part of his service. But there is a great difference between bringing a concern privately, humbly and directly to the pastor, and spreading it through the congregation to gather a faction. The first strengthens the church; the second wounds it. Nor does it mean the pastor is above accountability. In a Baptist church, both pastor and deacons answer to the congregation under Christ. Where pastor and deacons are agreed, the church is strong; where they are at war, it is torn.

Keeping the Plan Alive

Good plans rarely fail at birth. They fade, as enthusiasm cools and founders move away. Dr. Cook's course lists seven common challenges: neglect and drift; lost vision; overload and burnout; untrained deacons; discouragement; turnover of deacons and pastors; and cold formalism, in which the form remains and the love has gone. Nearly all are failures of heart and attention, not of structure, and a failure of heart can be repented of.

The remedies are not complicated. The church keeps casting the vision to each new deacon and to the whole congregation. It trains new deacons, best by taking a younger man along on visits. It keeps loads manageable. It encourages weary men. The pastor and a faithful head deacon watch that the work does not lapse. And the church surrounds everything with prayer.

The church should also evaluate honestly, in the spirit of "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks" (Proverbs 27:23). It asks: Is every family still assigned? Is each being contacted? Are real needs met? Is any deacon overloaded? Are new members assigned promptly? Do pastor and deacons work well together? It measures by fruit, not by the number of visits logged. A yearly review and rededication keeps the work from drifting. The purpose is not to shame a struggling deacon but to fill the gaps. His reward is the Master's "Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21).

Women's Service and the Deaconess Question

Howell's seventh chapter is one of the most interesting parts of his book. He argues that the women of 1 Timothy 3:11 are not only the wives of male deacons but female assistants commonly called deaconesses. He also points to Phoebe, called a servant (diakonos) of the church at Cenchrea (Romans 16:1), and to early Christian practice. He thought women could serve other women, the sick and the poor in ways male deacons sometimes could not. CTS keeps his argument as Howell's, to be tested by Scripture, and not as a settled answer for today.

Baptists today hold at least three views of 1 Timothy 3:11:

1. Wives of deacons. Paul speaks of the deacons' wives, who share closely in the ministry. The Greek word gune can mean either "woman" or "wife," and the English "their" is supplied by the translators. Supporters note that verse 12 returns to the deacons themselves, "husbands of one wife," and that the passage may therefore be a single list for men.

2. Women who serve as deacons. Paul speaks of "the women" who serve in the same office. Supporters point to Phoebe, to the word "likewise," which also introduces the deacons in verse 8, and to the place of verse 11 inside the list of deacon qualifications.

3. A recognized women's service, often called deaconesses. Women are recognized and set apart for service connected with the diaconate, but not as deacons in the office. Howell's argument for "female assistants" is of this kind.

The grammar allows more than one reading, and faithful Baptists differ in good conscience. We should not say that those who disagree do not respect Scripture, nor that the matter does not matter. In practice, many Baptist churches choose only men as deacons, and some ordain women as deacons, and some use deaconesses. The Baptist Faith and Message (2000) says that both men and women are gifted for service in the church, and it limits the office of pastor to men as qualified by Scripture; to our knowledge, it does not state in the same terms that the office of deacon is limited to men. The tradition's main view, shared by most conservative Baptist bodies, is that the pastoral office is reserved to men, and Unit 4 gave the reasons.

Baptist teaching here rests on principles that all share. The local church decides under Scripture, without outside command. It reads the text humbly and decides in unity. Whatever it decides, women are to be honored for their work. Women serve widely among Baptists: visiting the sick and poor, teaching women and children (Titus 2:3-5), hospitality, benevolence, prayer and witness. Phoebe is held up in Scripture as "a helper of many" (Romans 16:2), and Paul greets many women who labored with him (Romans 16). A church that neglects the gifts of its women has left necessary ministry undone.

Pastoral Application

One of your deacons comes to you troubled. A woman in his families asked to speak with him alone. She told him that her husband strikes her when he drinks, that her children have seen it, and she begged him to tell no one. The deacon says, "I promised I would keep it secret. Is a promise a promise?"

A wise pastor first thanks the deacon for coming, because that was the right thing to do. He explains that a promise of secrecy cannot cover a danger to a person, and that the deacon should not have promised absolute secrecy. Then they act. The pastor asks the deacon to tell the woman, gently, that he must bring the matter to the pastor for her safety. They check what the laws of the country require about reporting harm to a woman or children. The pastor and the deacon (with the deacon's wife or another trusted woman) meet the woman to listen, pray and offer practical help, including a safe place to stay if she needs one. They refer her to those fit to help, such as a counselor or the proper authorities, and they do not simply send the couple home to "pray about it." The pastor will later speak to the husband with firm and loving truth. All through it, the matter is told only to those who need to know, and the deacon remains present. A promise of confidence is sacred, but not when keeping it would leave a person to be harmed.

Summary

In crisis, the deacon comes quickly, brings calm and Christ, gives practical help, and stays through the long weeks after a death. He guards confidences but never uses them to hide danger, abuse or crime, and he refers matters beyond him to the pastor and others while remaining present. The deacons' meeting is a report on souls, spiritual in conduct and honest in reporting. The deacon is the pastor's helper, who holds up his hands, disagrees privately and guards the unity of the church. Good plans fade through neglect, lost vision, overload, poor training, discouragement, turnover and cold formalism, and are kept alive by vision, training, encouragement, leadership, prayer and honest yearly review. On women's service, Howell read 1 Timothy 3:11 as speaking of deaconesses. Baptists differ on whether it means wives, women deacons or a distinct women's service. The tradition's main view reserves the pastoral office to men, and all Baptists honor the wide service of women. The full CTS deacon course is the recommended companion to this unit.

Further Reading

• R. B. C. Howell, The Deaconship (1846), chapter 7 and the concluding chapters, in the CTS adaptation (required textbook for this course).

• Dr. Wayne Cook, "Deacon Family Ministry Plan" (CTS), Units 8 to 10.

• The Baptist Faith and Message (2000), article VI.

• J. M. Pendleton, Church Manual (1867), a Baptist primary source.

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