Baptist Pastoral Ministry, Missions, and Church Leadership — Unit 5: Conflict, Church Splits, and Restoration

Key Verse

"Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:3, NKJV)

Learning Objectives

When you finish this unit, you should be able to:

1. Name the common causes of conflict in a church and give New Testament examples of conflict among believers.

2. Explain the steps of Matthew 18:15-17 and how they differ from the formal discipline of the church taught in Course 3.

3. Describe the pastor's part as a peacemaker, including when to ask for outside help.

4. State the two main views on church division, and explain the Baptist answer about when separation is right and when it is sin.

5. Describe how a church is restored after a split, and the Baptist positions on restoring a fallen member and a fallen pastor.

The Voice of This Course

This course is written from inside the Baptist tradition, for Baptist pastors. It is conservative in doctrine and practical in purpose. Baptists have had many quarrels, and we do not hide them; Course 1 tells the history. Where Baptists differ, we state each view fairly and give the answer most conservative Baptists would give. This unit is about the hardest part of pastoral life, which is what to do when God's people are at odds.

Conflict Is Not New

The first church had conflict. In Acts 6:1 there was a complaint by the Greek-speaking believers against the Hebrew-speaking believers because their widows were overlooked. In Acts 15:36-41 Paul and Barnabas had such a sharp disagreement over John Mark that they separated. Paul begged Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord (Philippians 4:2-3). At Corinth some said "I am of Paul," "I am of Apollos," and "I am of Cephas" (1 Corinthians 1:10-12). John wrote of Diotrephes, who loved to have the first place and would not receive the brothers (3 John 9-10).

A church full of sinners saved by grace will have friction. Conflict does not prove that a church is dead or that the pastor is a failure. How the church handles it shows whether Christ is Lord there. A conflict faced in love can bring a church closer. One hidden or fought in anger can destroy it.

Not every disagreement is sin. Believers may honestly differ about money, the time of the service or who should lead a class. Conflict becomes dangerous when disagreement turns into suspicion, anger and a struggle to win.

Where Conflict Comes From

James asks, "Where do wars and fights come from among you?" and answers that they come from the desires that war within us (James 4:1-2). In churches the roots are often these:

• Pride and the love of power. People want to have the first place, as Diotrephes did.

• Hurt and unforgiven offense. A harsh word spoken years ago still lives.

• Money and property. Budgets, salaries and buildings are a frequent cause.

• Poor communication. People learn of decisions by rumor and fill the silence with suspicion.

• Changes handled badly. Unit 4 explained how hasty change can wound.

• Differences in doctrine or practice. Some matter greatly; many are small.

• The pastor himself. Pastors can be proud, careless, harsh or lazy. A wise pastor asks first, "What part of this is mine?"

What the Bible Teaches About Handling Conflict

Go and be reconciled. Jesus said that if you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, you should leave the gift, go first to be reconciled to your brother, and then offer it (Matthew 5:23-24). Reconciliation comes before worship.

Follow Matthew 18. Jesus gave a pattern for the case where a brother sins against you (Matthew 18:15-17). First, go to him privately and tell him his fault, with the aim of winning your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others so that every word may be established. If he still refuses, tell it to the church. Notice what this requires. The one offended must go, and must go first and alone. Most church quarrels grow because people do the opposite. They tell everyone except the person concerned.

This pattern is for personal offenses between believers. It also begins the path to church discipline, which concerns serious and unrepented sin and is taught in Course 3, Unit 5. Ordinary quarrels about budgets and preferences should usually end long before they reach formal discipline.

Speak gently and quickly. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1). Paul says, "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). As far as it depends on us, we are to live peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18). Jesus said the peacemakers are blessed (Matthew 5:9).

Keep it in the family. Paul was ashamed that believers at Corinth took one another to court before unbelievers and asked whether there was not one wise man among them able to judge between brothers (1 Corinthians 6:1-6). The church should provide wise counsel from within, and in a place where this is hard, from neighboring pastors.

The Pastor as Peacemaker

A pastor in a time of conflict needs patience and a plan. These guidelines help.

1. Pray first and often. Conflict is a spiritual matter.

2. Listen to each person separately and fully. Do not take sides early. There are usually two stories, and each person believes his own.

3. Refuse gossip. When a member begins to tell you what a third person has done, ask, "Have you spoken to him?" If not, send him. A pastor who carries stories from one member to another becomes part of the problem.

4. Examine yourself. Ask the Lord and a wise friend whether you are partly at fault.

5. Bring people together, when they are ready. Ask each to speak of their own part and not of the other's faults. Begin and end with prayer.

6. Teach without naming. Preach on unity, forgiveness and humility in the regular course of the Bible, but do not use the pulpit to attack individuals.

7. Ask for outside help when the church is stuck. A trusted neighboring pastor, or a leader from the association (Course 3, Unit 3), can listen with fresh ears. This does not violate the church's independence. Acts 15 shows a church seeking the counsel of other leaders, and the church still made its own decisions. The outsider advises. The church decides.

A special case needs care: accusations against the pastor. Scripture says, "Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses" (1 Timothy 5:19). The church should not act on rumor, nor ignore a serious charge. The deacons should hear it fairly, and an outside counselor can help.

Church Splits: Two Views and the Baptist Answer

Baptists are well acquainted with division, as Course 1 shows. Our freedom to govern ourselves means that no bishop or board can prevent a church from dividing. This is why the peacemaking at home is so important.

Historians and pastors do not agree on how to judge church divisions. Two views are common.

View one: unity at almost any cost. Jesus prayed that His people may be one (John 17:21). Paul urged the Corinthians to be of the same mind and judgment (1 Corinthians 1:10) and the Ephesians to keep the unity of the Spirit (Ephesians 4:3). On this view division is a sin that brings shame on the gospel, and believers must remain together and work out their problems.

View two: truth before unity. Paul pronounced a curse on anyone who preached another gospel (Galatians 1:8-9). He told the Romans to watch out for those who cause divisions contrary to the teaching they had learned, and to avoid them (Romans 16:17). John told believers not to receive into the house a teacher who did not bring the true teaching of Christ (2 John 10-11). On this view, some separations are required by faithfulness.

The Baptist answer, as we hold it, recognizes the truth in both. We distinguish three kinds of matters. The first kind concerns the gospel itself and the foundations of the faith, such as the person and work of Christ and the authority of Scripture. Here separation from teachers who deny the truth is sometimes required, though it should be a last step taken after patient effort. The second kind concerns important doctrines on which sincere believers differ, such as the timing of the last things, or the details of salvation within Baptist life (Course 2, Units 8 to 10). On these we should disagree without dividing. The third kind concerns preferences, personalities, music, buildings, budgets and who holds power. Division over these is sin. It grieves the Lord and damages the witness of the church. Most church splits, if we are honest, belong to the third kind.

Paul and Barnabas show that separation is not always a disaster. Their sharp disagreement ended with them going separate ways, and two missionary journeys went out instead of one (Acts 15:39-41). Yet the story did not end in bitterness. Years later Paul asked for Mark because "he is useful to me for ministry" (2 Timothy 4:11). It is possible for believers to part and later to be restored.

A related question concerns the departing pastor. A Baptist church has the right to call a pastor, and it has the right to ask him to leave. It should do so in order, with prayer, fairness and kindness, and not in anger. A pastor who leaves should leave peacefully and should not take a faction with him to form a rival church in the same community.

Restoration After Conflict

A conflict that ends without restoration has not truly ended. The church needs a path to healing.

Confession and forgiveness. James 5:16 says to confess our trespasses to one another and pray for one another. We are to forgive as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). When Peter asked how often to forgive, Jesus answered with seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-22). Paul told the Corinthians to forgive and comfort the person who had been disciplined and to reaffirm their love for him (2 Corinthians 2:6-8).

Time and patience. Trust is rebuilt slowly, through honest worship, steady preaching and visible repentance.

Shared acts. A day of prayer, a service of confession, the Lord's Supper taken together after self-examination (1 Corinthians 11:28), and a renewal of the church covenant can mark a new start.

Changes to prevent a repeat. Examine the church's habits. Do the bylaws allow a few people to control the church? Is information shared openly? Are disputes handled by Matthew 18?

Bless those who left. If a group has left, do not speak ill of them. Pray for them. A church that blesses those who leave leaves a door open for reconciliation.

Restoring a fallen member

Galatians 6:1 says, "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." The aim of discipline is restoration. A repentant member is to be welcomed back.

Restoring a fallen pastor

Baptists differ on this painful question. One view holds that a pastor who falls into grave sin, once forgiven, may in time return to the pastoral office, because forgiveness is full and because Peter was restored after denying the Lord (John 21:15-17). The other view holds that forgiveness does not by itself restore the qualifications of 1 Timothy 3:2 and 3:7, that an overseer must be above reproach and have a good reputation with outsiders, and that after some sins the pastor should not return to the pulpit.

The conservative Baptist answer we give is this: forgiveness and restoration to fellowship are certain and complete. The church should love the fallen pastor and his family and care for them. But whether he returns to pastoral office is a separate question. The church should not rush it, and the pastor himself should not demand it. If it comes at all, it comes after real repentance, a long season of testing, accountability and counsel from other pastors. In the case of sexual abuse, or of any sin that has harmed the vulnerable, the church must also protect those in its care and must obey the law.

Objections and Answers

Objection 1: "Peace is the goal, so avoid confrontation." Some pastors keep a calm surface and ignore every problem. The prophet condemned those who say "Peace, peace!" when there is no peace (Jeremiah 6:14). Matthew 18 commands us to go to the brother, not to avoid him. Keeping the peace is different from making peace. The first only hides a wound; the second heals it.

Objection 2: "Church independence means no one outside has a right to help." Baptist autonomy means that no outside body rules over a local church. It does not mean that a church must be alone. Acts 15 shows a church consulting leaders from other churches. The association exists for such help (Course 3, Unit 3), and a church that asks for counsel is acting as a free church should.

Objection 3: "If a church cannot agree, it is better to part than to fight forever." Sometimes this is true, as Paul and Barnabas show. But the Baptist answer is that parting must come after honest effort, without bitterness, and over matters that truly require it. A split over personal preference is rarely the Lord's will.

Pastoral Application

In a church of about eighty members, two families, whom we shall call the Ramos and Torres families (a fictional example), have fallen out over the building of a new classroom. Each says the other insulted them in the business meeting. By Sunday the church has begun to take sides, and Pastor Eduardo hears the stories at his door.

Eduardo prays and meets each family alone. He listens and asks each, "Have you spoken to them?" When they say no, he encourages them to go, and he offers to pray for them first. He checks his own part: he realizes he had not explained the cost of the project. He asks the deacons to help him, and he invites a neighboring pastor, whom both families respect, to sit with the two families. On Sunday he preaches on Ephesians 4:1-6 and Matthew 5:23-24 without naming anyone. The two families meet. Each admits unkind words, and they pray. A month later the church receives the Lord's Supper together. The classroom is built, with a smaller budget. Eduardo keeps visiting both families, for the wound is not fully healed.

Summary

Conflict is not new in the church, as Acts 6, Acts 15, Philippians 4 and 1 Corinthians 1 show. It comes from pride, hurt, money, poor communication, changes badly handled, differences and the pastor's own failings. Scripture teaches us to be reconciled quickly, to follow Matthew 18, to speak gently and to keep disputes in the family. The pastor acts as a peacemaker: he listens, refuses gossip, examines himself, teaches, and asks for outside help when needed, while the church still decides. On division, some stress unity and some stress truth; the Baptist answer separates the gospel, important doctrines and preferences, and holds that splits over preferences are sin. Restoration needs confession, forgiveness, time, shared acts and changed habits. A fallen member should be restored gently. For a fallen pastor, forgiveness is complete, but return to pastoral office is a separate question that the church should decide slowly.

Further Reading

• J. M. Pendleton, Church Manual (1867), on the church and its discipline.

• Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students.

• Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor (1656).

• Course 1 on Baptist divisions, Course 3, Unit 3 (associations) and Unit 5 (membership, covenant and discipline).

• Baptist Faith and Message 2000, the article on the church.

• John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress, for the believer's walk through conflict and trial.

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